Lost in Vegas Part 3

“Whoever you are--I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”
Blanche DuBois
A Streetcar Named Desire

I managed to get lost on my way to work today. This might be forgiveable if I lived in the outerburbs, but I live in the inner city and my office is little more than a 10 minute drive. In the past, (ok, so this may have happened previously, on just a couple of occasions-who is counting?), I’ve blamed it on the early stages of alzheimers and linked it back to my obsession with personal hygiene. I mean, frankly, who knows how much aluminium is in deodorant these days? Plus, I lived in Rome for a year, and not even a scientist could quantify the long term damage sustained to my frontal lobe from drinking water transferred through lead pipes laid in the 5 century BC.

Anyway, after pulling over and unsuccessfully trying to find my trusty 1981 edition of the refedex, I asked a passing jogger for directions. After removing his earphones, he launched into a 4 minute spiel on the 3 best routes to my destination, all the while using his hands to make sharp, pointy angles, (I assumed this was to assist me just in case english wasn’t my first language or I was, say, deaf).

He then asked me what accent I have, explaining that I sounded South African, (this is also not the first time this has happened). I told him, with a blank face, that I actually have a speech impediment and have never left Ipswich which is where I was born.

Clearly, this was a lie but it’s a great line post-Pauline.